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50 Ways to Leave Your ‘puter
By Morag Mortimer-Smythe
Do you have problems tearing yourself away from your computer? Stay up half the night burning the midnight oil? Completely knackered the following morning?
Then you may need to practise Simonism. Any Paul Simon song is usually guaranteed to send me to sleep but I find this one from the 70’s gives the best results. Singing this song to yourself 5 minutes before you intend to shut down will soon have you snuggled up in bed in no time.
50 Ways To Leave Your ‘Puter
(Verse)
The problem is all inside my head I thought to me
The answer is easy if I take it logically
This song helps me in my struggle to be free
There must be fifty ways to leave your ‘puter
(Verse)
It is really not my habit to intrude
Furthermore I hope my meaning won’t be lost or misconstrued
But I’ll repeat myself at the risk of being crude
There must be fifty ways to leave your ‘puter
Fifty ways to leave your ‘puter
(Chorus)
You just put down the mouse
Klaus
Alt., control, delete
Pete
You just pull out the plug
Doug
Just get yourself free
Don’t make a big fuss
Russ
You don’t need to install stuff
Just flick the ‘off’ key
Lee
And get yourself free
(Verse)
You know, it grieves me so to see me in such pain
But in the morning I can reboot up again
Until then I’ll just repeat this crap refrain
About the fifty ways
(Chorus)
You just turn off the switch
Mitch
Alt., control, delete
Pete
Don’t be a big girl
Earl
Just get yourself free
No need for a fuss
Russ
You don’t need to install stuff
Just flick the off key
Lee
And get yourself free
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