50 Ways to Leave Your ‘puter

By Morag Mortimer-Smythe

Do you have problems tearing yourself away from your computer? Stay up half the night burning the midnight oil? Completely knackered the following morning?

Then you may need to practise Simonism. Any Paul Simon song is usually guaranteed to send me to sleep but I find this one from the 70’s gives the best results. Singing this song to yourself 5 minutes before you intend to shut down will soon have you snuggled up in bed in no time.

50 Ways To Leave Your ‘Puter

(Verse)

The problem is all inside my head I thought to me

The answer is easy if I take it logically

This song helps me in my struggle to be free

There must be fifty ways to leave your ‘puter

(Verse)

It is really not my habit to intrude

Furthermore I hope my meaning won’t be lost or misconstrued

But I’ll repeat myself at the risk of being crude

There must be fifty ways to leave your ‘puter

Fifty ways to leave your ‘puter

(Chorus)

You just put down the mouse

Klaus

Alt., control, delete

Pete

You just pull out the plug

Doug

Just get yourself free

Don’t make a big fuss

Russ

You don’t need to install stuff

Just flick the ‘off’ key

Lee

And get yourself free

(Verse)

You know, it grieves me so to see me in such pain

But in the morning I can reboot up again

Until then I’ll just repeat this crap refrain

About the fifty ways

(Chorus)

You just turn off the switch

Mitch

Alt., control, delete

Pete

Don’t be a big girl

Earl

Just get yourself free

No need for a fuss

Russ

You don’t need to install stuff

Just flick the off key

Lee

And get yourself free